2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
