i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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