I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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