3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
