biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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