"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this boner is exhausting
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
