on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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