All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
