Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
