You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
