I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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