just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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