don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
