Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We need to get me chipped asap
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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