So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
