I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
