i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
