My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
