i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
