I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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