Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
