i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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