I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
