like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
