real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
