Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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