My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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