Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
