Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
