I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
