Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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