I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
