hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
