You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
