Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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