i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
