I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
