I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
