She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
