She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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