sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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