We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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