he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize