All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
