Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize