o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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