i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
