He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
