i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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