you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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