if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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